Brother Lawrence, who visited campus on Monday to talk about Facebook, sent me this message.
Subject: When the Ex Blogs, the Dirtiest Laundry Is Aired - New York Times
"Thought you might want to share this with your class. You can tell them I sent it to you on facebook!"
It gives another example of the Dark Side of the Net... the opportunity to share EVERYTHING you want with hundreds of thousands of people... It is another example that makes me wonder what is happening to our notions of "public" and "private." Post comments here and we can talk more in class.
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Well!! I found this an interesting post. When I first started writing my personal blog, I was very careful about anonymity. I blog under a pseudonym, give a vague location for where I am and, while I do blog about my children, use only their first initials. One of the things that concerned me about blogging was that my older son's father might find us that way. He is computer saavy, loves pretending he is a great spy and has an over-active imagination. I was careful not to post anything that would reveal too much about our situation.
I understand blogs as therapy or journal space and know lots of folks who use them that way, but there is something enormously problematic with using them as vehicles for revenge or defamation. Personally, I would not want to air that much of my "dirty laundry" in public, no matter how angry or hurt I was. Secondly, the concern for the children who could be damaged is an excellent one.
With a step-child in my life now, I have been reading a blog of late written by and for step-mothers. I haven't posted or commented, again, because it feels too personal. Tom's son is a computer saavy young man and I would not want him to know my thoughts and feelings as I process our relationship. In addition to the guilt that children may/might feel about their role in their parents' divorce, I am also reluctant to let children know how much power they have over us. Part of our job as parents is to set limits and to admit that we are hurt by behaviors or confused puts children in a role they are not yet mature enough to handle.
And - as I think about the pastoral implications of blogging, there is an even greater burden to protect confidentiality. Bailey touches ont his in his book, but I don't think the point can be made strongly enough. If on your Church blog you muse about your children or partner or folks in the parish and what that teaches you about God, how soon before folks sitting in the pew begin wondering if their conversations with you are going to appear in public space, no matter how well disguised? I will never forget the Good Friday I was sitting in the pew, when the priest began his homily quoting from a letter I had written him. He didn't attribute it to me and didn't ask my permission to use it. I felt horribly violated and that my trust had been abused in a deep and profound way. I would not want to perpetrate that same behavior, no matter how innocently or how well-disguised in cyberspace.
-elw
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